Big brother

We've entered unknown territory now that Rafy has turned 4. This year at nursery has been like a whirlwind and the tantrum-prone toddler who started ten months ago, has somewhere in this time, become a taller, more independent boy who can use the toilet proficiently (except wipe his own bum adequately after a poo - but I'll take that any day!).

I don't know exactly when it happened but he has transformed into a child, as opposed to being a toddler. I look at him in equal measures of awe and perplexity: is this mini human being really my wee Rafy monster? Suddenly there is a boy that talks to me, tells me things and with whom I can (sort of) reason! It's been a long time coming but he actually sits with us at mealtimes and has stopped emptying all the drawers and reachable cupboards in the flat. He can be left to his own devices in a different room from me and I don't have to worry about knives and cups of tea when it's just him around, like during his wee brother's naps.

Along the way, we've discovered the highs and lows of nursery life in the eyes of a 3, nearly 4-year-old. We've figured out school runs, getting three people ready every morning and how to swiftly clean up his brother's poo nappies when we're supposed to be half way to school already. Then there are the sick days and having to walk back to school after not long dropping him off, and having the day turned upside down, suddenly having to entertain both sick child and teething toddler.

The biggest eye-opener (and continuing learning experience) is the birthday party conundrum and associated politics.

Let me start by discussing the headache/ dilemma of giving presents. How much is appropriate? Should twins get more? We are friends with twins and some brothers only a year apart. What if we duplicate a pressie, after hunting high and low for a very special one that did leave a dent in the wallet? Things we seem to have to ensure are that the present is none too shabby, that it shows some consideration into what the kid is currently obsessing about as well as being age-appropriate, and of course, be within budget.

Things I've learned to consider, after a few errors:

Ask the parent what the kid actually wants or already has
Buy in bulk when something is on sale/ looks more expensive than it is – this includes wrapping paper and cards
Make cards with your child
Use old magazines as wrapping paper – I've done this for a while for grown up presents, which has always been complimented on
Save duplicates and re-gift (recycle)
Remember the no-confectionary rule – how upset would you be if someone gave your kid a tub of sweets?
Value of gift should be a reflection of the child's closeness with the birthday kid; generic tat would be fine if they aren't really friends!
Never allow the daddy to buy it unless you give him a list to stick to; he'll only come back with something sugary, a boyish present for a girl, or overspend on a game that he wants himself!

Keeping up stocks of my gift-recycling drawer is becoming a bit of an obsession this year! I start to panic when it gets below the half way mark, or only has supplies suitable for one sex. When did my life come to be so exciting?

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Mug of Whine

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